shelves

just a few white and yellow mustard plants in the roadside with 2 poppies strategically placed, as beautiful as any flower arrangement ive seen anywhere. these little things that lift our hearts and make them beat again. 

agitated. worried about the home helps being withdrawn. joanna prayed with me this morning and i'm more at peace about it.  struggling to rest tho. then my sleep meds didn't kick in last night so ended up having the opposite effect. at least my bedroom now has  a bookshelf (was moving that at around midnight) and looks a bit better. joanna when there are big things we cant control we end up controlling the little things that we can do. feeling a bit lacking the sleep today, but still a bit twitchy. i shall collapse after they've had the case conf on tues. must write out list of the effects of the lack of help in the month of may.

it's hard having the girls poorly again. nothing like as bad as it has been in the past, they can still get around the house a bit. i have to make the conscious effort for their sakes to look beyond the exterior to see the same old person on hte inside who still needs to be reacted to totally normally. if i look sad and worried about them it makes contact with me wearing rather than a blessing, so even tho i still have to be real about things i'm careful to stay as positive as poss. esp with them needing help with baths again. they find it so hard to ask for help in the first place and to lose that bit of independence again i must talk to them as adults not babies, and not make them feel bad on top of everything else. they are so thoughtful they only ask for help when it's desperate. they are such lovely women.


ruth still has difficulties with reading and joanna loves reading alound so when The Week arrives i hear joanna sat on ruth's bed reading it aloud to her. and then ruth googles anything they find interesting to go andlook at the original article. joanna has some interesting prononciations cos some of her english comes from reading. i heard her do the classic "miyzled" for misled  the other day. ruth corrects her. she does very well considering. 


joanna loves her kindle. she's had a couple of weeks when she coulnt use it much but now is reading persuasion. she cant read novels much cos she struggles to remember all the characters, but she has such insight about how humans behave, like ruth too, that when they discuss something they both have watched or ruth has watched and joanna has read, i find it absolutely fascinating. 


they both do sudokus. ruth does it on the computer. joanna has  little machine that ruth bought her with a little screen so she can play lying down. it keeps her brain ticking over when her body is finding it hard to keep up.

red frame : - freshly painted shelves - rather pleased with myself to have done something "normal". made rather a mess. blue - old system for blinds. couldnt use them cos too ripped and they rip more when they wave about in the wind. so now i can sit on the balcony even in the afternoon.  green - new system for blinds - hold down better so can sit out there even when it's sunny in the afternoon. yellow - my shadow - she got paint on her whiskers. purple - apricot tree that grew in the compost.

i pass rather a lot of time here. MP3 player for listening to podcasts and the radio.

"new" bookshelf with "new " yellow shelves. and a pile of clean washing waiting to be put away.

treasures displayed on my curtain. cheer me up when i look up from the computer. can also look out at the view.