pic of ruth :-)

ruth

sent some documents to our social worker - she's getting ready for our case conference. feel like i'm drowning in papers. AND doing it in a hurry when the sw rang meant i didnt get to have my bath while the helper was here. :-(

but i love this recent pic of ruth. :-)

my sister's birthday

seen from here at fifty three

as your birthday passes by

older, younger where am i

your current age seems odd to me

fourty nine sounds far too old

for the little chubby sis

smiley cutie softest lisp

fluffy hair of fine fine gold

fourty nine sounds nearly right

much the same as me, i've known

you could always stand alone

hold your end, put up a fight

fourty nine sounds rather young

"we'll ask bev", "and bev will know"

the refrain did always go

older than me since we were young
 

all in all my little sis

tho miles and life a big divide

one small truth they cannot hide

i'm proud of you, be sure of this

lawn mower

it's really interesting having a different bit of memory back. there is someone mowing the lawn out the back and the sound took me right back to being at junior school and sitting listening to that sound rather than getting on with my work. a few weeks later my parents got my eyes tested, found i needed glasses and i then found it easier to concentrate in class. it's a happy memory. i associate it with tennis courts too cos my dad was lawn tennis champion in our county (lincs) for many years so i spent a lot of time investigating piles of grass clippings and playing behind the old wooden clubhouse. tho i cant remember someone mowing the grass the sound is such a strong reminder i think it must have been there most of the time. i do remember getting told off by various groundsmen for messing up their grass clippings pile. it was hot in the middle so we'd poke sticks in in the hope of setting them alight, lol

on sunday the light was so lovely for the dog walk by the river bank i took some pics, then played around with the photoscape thing that joanna installed on my computer to cut them about and frame them. the purple one is what happens when i clicked on the thing to make it a negative. at least i know the original photos are safe so i can play about without risking to destroy them so i tried out all the buttons.

dog deal

have told the agency that i'm going to ask one of their helpers to walk my dogs illegally and they said that in the circumstances it's ok ! she started today. so relieved not to be going out today however much i love it. so i shall be able to restart my pain relief properly - it leaves me too groggy. the pain is not huge huge or even all day, but it's worst in the early hours and stops me sleeping so have got to deal with it. 

lol - the girls have potty trained Tommy !! cos we're not able to do a second walk he's starting to leak a bit sometimes. they take him out on the balcony in the afternoon and now even without offering the treat they put the little bucket under him and he fills it. the things you do when push comes to shove :-))

haha, funny how you see things when you look at the photo - that oven glove definitely needs to go in the wash !

"on form"

filling out disability benefit forms again. really nice joanna wanted to fill out her own and helped fill in some of the details i'd missed on the othrs. saw my writing on some old papers. i could hardly hold the pen. good to be reminded that we are getting somewhere even if it is an inch at a time. Still cant get over how beautiful the world is every time i go out. will get used to it again eventually, or i hope not :-))

pickle

the pic is a view of the trees on the river bank taken from my bedroom window.

we're in the middle of a disaster. cos of an accident our home help had when walking our dogs last autumn the social security have decided no dog walking for anyone in the whole country by home helps! we are in such a pickle. we've got to challenge it but cos it's gone national i dont know how! and i'm getting poorly from the walks every day so dont feel up to it. i think someone might help me but i'll have to pay her on "le black" (im in france) and she might get into trouble cos she's one of our home helps.

what a pickle. and the difficult bit will be giving up walking again. i so love being out. i dont want to go back indoors. l love mi daugthers and am glad to look after tham, but really i'd just love to go and sit on a bench all day by the rivr and listen to the birds and never think of another meal again ! :-))) i'm like a dry alcoholic who has jjst tasted the juice again and is craving; i dont want to be a house wife; i want to go out and do things.

actually i'm feeling so grotty that i'm probably ready to give in . at least i started embroideriing a gain a little so that has cheered me up even tho my eyes are a bit rough now.

i think it's bringing things to a head for the home help service; they needed to see for their own eyes whathappens wheni'm not helped properlyu - and even dr certificates were nnot enough to convince them.

Lurning Curve

Have been doing a little stitching. Very good for morale. Lovely to be able to use my fingers again a bit. This is learning the bullion bar stitch. Am rather pleased with this little pic of Ginger Biscuit when she was a puppy. :-)

Im' in a steep learning curve - the main thing being : learning to be willing to unpick stuff and try again. I couldnt do that in the past. Firstly cos I wouldn't, then cos it had cost so much effort to do I didnt think I would be able to do it again. One day I might be a grown up. But then again, maybe not.

the birds are singing at the tops of their voices after the rain. the world is so green and fresh.